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Jesus is da Bomb Pop

5.30.2006

in Uncategorized

Exhibit A
A simple ice cream truck, mobile purveyor of all things sweet,
creamy and artificially flavored. But wait! Upon closer inspection…

Exhibit B
Evangelism on wheels!

Since I was raised that one’s relationship with one’s god was private, something solely between you and, well, God–the evangelical world is a very different one from mine. This despite the fact that the Jehovah’s Witness world headquarters is right smack in my Brooklyn neighborhood.

If proclaiming one’s faith to the public (tattoos, trucker hats, mud flaps) in a non-ironic way makes me a little uncomfortable, then certainly proclaiming one’s faith as a part of unrelated commercial endeavors confounds me completely. There was a New England donut shop chain way back when that printed proverbs on the coffee cups. I always wondered whether they stopped to contemplate how many of their non-Christian customers they alienated, or whether they did but just didn’t care.

And then there’s the issue of the Good Humor Man of God.

Is the bumper sticker putter-onner just so devout that he can’t help but plaster his belief system all over the place? Is he hoping for a little extra Jesus magic cast his way–an I’ll plug you/you plug me sort of thing (i.e. the spiritual version of a reciprocal blogroll link)? Or perhaps he is hoping to stir up more business with it, appealing to that intersection between the Santa Monica ice cream eating-public and the Santa Monica Christian business-patronizing public, a small demographic indeed.

If the latter is the case, I’d like to offer a few bumper stickers that could work just a little harder:

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for a Toasted Almond.

Jesus says: Relax! (And have a FrozFruit)

The meek shall inherit the remaining Chocolate Eclairs. You know, the good ones with the chocolate bar in the middle.

Love thy neighbor – buy him a Chipwich

Jesus is King Kone

Covet not thy neighbor’s Choco Taco. Get your own, $1.35.

Ask and you shall receive extra sprinkles.

WWJE: What Would Jesus Eat? (May we recommend the new Neapolitan Ice Cream Sandwich?)

I apologize in advance for offending the vast majority of the world. Peace.

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