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Five Easy Pieces, snotty Brooklyn coffee shop style


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Me: Can I get a croissant with brie?

Barrista With an Attitude: Um, I don’t know if we can do that.

Me: Well you have croissants. And you have brie, right?

BWA: Yes.

Me: So is that okay then?

BWA: Well what I have to do is order a brie on a baguette, then also charge you for a croissant.

Me: That’s ridiculous. I just want brie on a croissant. You can’t like charge me for a croissant and add brie? Or charge me for the baguette and just add the 50 cent difference for the croissant?

BWA: No. You have to order both.

Me: Well that’s silly. I’ll just get the baguette.

BWA: Or wait – here’s an idea! Order both, and then you can take the brie off the baguette, put it on the croissant, and then bring home the baguette for later.

Me: I think God is telling me to ease up on the carbs.

BWA: Huh?

Me: Nothing.

29 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one

RuthWells May 8, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Gawd, I love New York.


Wicked Step Mom May 8, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Personally, I don’t think she could add and she didn’t want to show her embarrassment by trying to add it up right… either that or she can just push pictures on the register and didn’t want to get confused.


Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com May 8, 2009 at 3:45 pm

How ridiculous. I can’t believe she could say some of that with a straight face lol. That took quality training.


The Dental Maven May 8, 2009 at 3:55 pm

The girls got some real problem-solving skills. We should get her working on some global economic issues.


Kami May 8, 2009 at 4:25 pm

I loathe incompetence! Kudos for being so nice about it! That’s the kind of one more thing that would put me over the edge. For sure! That and close-talkers…


Your escalator operator May 8, 2009 at 4:30 pm

So, you resisted the urge to – Nicholson-style – tell her to “hold the baguette between her legs,” huh? I think that shows impressive restraint.


Marketing Mommy May 8, 2009 at 5:02 pm

I though the economic crisis was supposed to mean over-qualified people forced to take service jobs. Maybe that’s not the case in NYC yet.


Ree May 8, 2009 at 7:15 pm



tara May 8, 2009 at 7:30 pm

good grief. rule followers can be so annoying.


caramama May 8, 2009 at 7:37 pm

That. Is. Ridiculous.


Amy Sue Nathan May 8, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Let’s analyze this briefly. You live in a place where you can get a croissant, a baguette AND brie separately or together?

Stop while you’re ahead.


ninja May 9, 2009 at 12:42 am

Priceless. Love your sense of humor despite being hungry…


Julie @ The Mom Slant May 9, 2009 at 12:57 am

Brie and a croissant. My cholesterol just skyrocketed, but I will die happy.


Ericka May 9, 2009 at 3:09 am

i think i’d probably find another coffee shop. one of the best things about new york? choice. you don’t have to put up with stupidity.

here? not only is there only one bagel store, which has not-very-good bagels, once you piss the stupid b*tch off, someone else has to go in for you if you want a bagel. i hate it here.

but now i’m dreaming of brie. yum. cheese.


SUEB0B May 9, 2009 at 3:58 am

You know why you can’t have brie and a croissant? Because that is just too, too much!


Lady M May 9, 2009 at 4:03 am

I’ve been in sandwich places where I clearly see croissants under the glass and read that they offer a turkey avocado sandwich on wheat, but they can’t make a turkey croissant sandwich without avocado. I’ve never tried for brie, but that is obviously out of the question as well.


Dana May 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

What the hell happened to customer service?

I went to lunch with a friend last week and ordered the house salad, but I wanted Caesar dressing instead of the French, and the waitress told me they couldn’t do that because the house salad only comes with French. I was like, so swap it and charge me 50 cents extra or whatever.

She sighed and rolled her eyes at me.

Then the manager came out and told me they don’t do that anymore, but they’ll make an exception “just this once.” Last time I ever eat there!


toyfoto May 9, 2009 at 4:23 pm

i am also impressed you didn’t tell her where she could put her baguette.


Maris May 10, 2009 at 1:13 am

I probably would have been a sucker and ordered both. But that could have quickly resulted in eating both so maybe, on the other hand, bad idea.


Drake May 10, 2009 at 3:00 am

A similar thing happened to us when we tried to order a kid’s meal with a tuna sandwhich since they did not offer a kid’s tuna sandwhich, even though they had tuna fish and the bread they make the kid’s sandwiches on.


sunshyne May 10, 2009 at 5:26 am

I don’t mess with waitresses…I’m always afraid they’ll spit in my food!:)


Jaelithe May 10, 2009 at 12:19 pm

And yet, if you had ordered a half-cow, half-soy latte with an extra shot, double vanilla, and just a splash of hazelnut, with whipped cream on top, to go, double sleeved, I BET SHE WOULD NOT HAVE BLINKED.


Lauren May 10, 2009 at 5:12 pm

WTF. Good customer service is a dying art form.


Claudia May 11, 2009 at 1:32 am

let me guess, tazza?


Banteringblonde May 11, 2009 at 2:50 am

I’m big believer in the hand of God … he doesn’t always do what I want him to do though. LOL


Elizabeth May 12, 2009 at 3:07 am

I’ve had the EXACT same conversation over iced coffee. “You have ice right? And coffee? Okay, so here’s what you do….”

Don’t stop going there though if you like the place. My bet is said barista will work there for a couple of months tops. That level of indifference/incompetence equals “quits easy.”


NYCity Mama May 15, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Ya know…I love New York, but cannot stand the snotty New York style service at diners, bars, cafes, restaurants, etc. My hubby thinks it’s a hoot! I on the other hand feel anywhere I plop my cash deserves to kiss my ass…a little a least. Now give me my damn croissant and brie, bitch or I’ll make your manager serve me instead! (I’m actually a really nice person : )


Drew G May 20, 2009 at 12:25 pm

I love Five Easy Pieces, that scene is a classic but you didn’t get to say hold it between your knees !!


Todd May 26, 2009 at 9:28 pm

I just hadda stop by and tell you that we loved this piece so much we linked it to our own homage to Jack. We’d love to know what you think of the show.


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